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My Dad is Dead

I just got the call. My dad is dead. Jim Lamb (1956-2010) Man kills himself following police chase and SWAT standoff in Gilbert Suspect Kills Self After 3-Hour Standoff I’ll update as much as I’m able.

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Traveling in Layers

My plane just pulled up to the gate. But I feel like there should be two planes; one for each trip I’m taking. I’m traveling in layered surreality right now. I go to see my father dead and his other...

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In Handbaskets

Lesson from the mortuary: It’s not personal, it’s paperwork. Lesson from experience: Expect the worst when fools are in charge. Everything here is going as badly as I thought it would and in the most...

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Stranger in a Strange Bed

I’m sleeping at my sister’s house tonight. I have the place to myself, but it’s still so weird sleeping in someone else’s bed. As an aside, I’m not a puppy person. I hate the way they smell. This one...

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Wandering as Pain Relief

I took a walk in my desert today. The poor old thing is scarred almost beyond recognition. Its as if the land itself is in suspense, awaiting the next traumas. Vulnerable in the extreme. But I know...

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Night Swimming

Things I only ever get stuck doing in AZ: -Drive 100 miles daily but never leave town, -Swim in the dark, -Eat at McDonalds, -Endure the company of a white supremacist, This whole trip is very like a...

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Asleep in a Wax Museum

I went back to the mortuary today for a viewing. The mortician did such an excellent reconstruction that we were even able to take a few pictures of dad in profile. From one side, he looks just like...

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I Went to Arizona, and All I Got Was This Lousy Peace…

Hard to believe, but some distant corners of the internet still have not heard that my father died. On Tuesday July 6th 2010, he blew himself away after a three hour standoff with a SWAT team. Those of...

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Complications from Clarity

It’s been almost a month since my dad left the world, and I’m starting to spot the evidence of him leaving my life, too. No anxiety attacks. I’m sleeping easily and well. Things I’ve struggled with for...

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Rises and Autumns

Over the weekend, we got out of the city for the last time in 2010. My mother in-law’s cottage-by-the-lake is stunning in the fall. I took Bastian for a hike in the ‘deep dark woods’, where we crossed...

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